Keep your foot on the pedal

It’s been a pretty awful week. To be honest like most weeks, forgettable as in nothing really happened. Just another week counted off, week number 34 to be precise. But it was the first one that almost broke me, I almost stalled the engine.

I don’t think anyone can be prepared for widowhood, it’s not as though it something that’s taught at school or practised like a driving test. It’s like you learn on the job, rushing around like a sugar-shot six year old for the first month or so sorting out funeral arrangements, direct debit changes, account closures and mountains and mountains of paperwork. And then suddenly everything is done, your job is finished. Probate is out of your hands, that part of your life controlled by faceless legals but you keep the engine running because if you don’t, you’ll stall it. And if you stall, will you break down? So you just keep your foot on the pedal, filling your days with work and mundane tasks so you can collapse into bed every night and go through the same the next day.

But I have a secret fuel for my engine, woof oil. For all the times they have hogged the bed, barked at next door’s cat, pooped where you step and left dog hair on every piece of furniture, they are there when you need a paw. They make you get up every morning because you have to go to the park and act like you’ve never seen a park before. They kiss you at the moment you least expected it but needed it most. They snore, fart and bark in their sleep but you know you’re not alone at night.

And so I introduce to you my ‘woofers’; Arry, Alice, Danny Boy, Simi, Evee, Gizmo, Yogi Bear, Neo, Mo Cridhe and Coco Loco. The best engine oil ……