Flight preparation

If last week was spent building mountains out of molehills, this one was all about flattening them. And I went in with a bulldozer. Sitting up those ‘poor me’ mountains was making me not only paranoid about what ills were going to befall me next but pessimistic too. Time to wake up and do a few cartoonish slaps around the face, all those changes I’ve been see-sawing around ? Need to get sorted.

I’ve decided that 2020 is definitely the year to move. Having umm’d and aah’d about what to do with my widow life, I now know that I have to start afresh if I’m ever going to feel settled again. There is a simmer of excitement in my belly although that could be down to nerves too. I’ve lived in the same house for 24 years, the first and only house we had as a married couple and been part of a successful business in London for almost as long. But it’s definitely time to go.

I went over to see one of my closest friends last night. Big decisions are best shared with those who listen but don’t judge. And are always honest. One of the comments she made really hit home. “Soph” she said, “it’s like having kids. At some point they are going to grow up and fly the nest and make their own way in life”. My house needs a new family now and the business needs to grow with the times. As I am leaving the latter at the end of the year, it only makes sense that I cut my ties with both. My worries about leaving friends behind have been put to rest by our Larrie who concluded that we could put the world to rights over a bottle or two anywhere.

So where to next? I have had extensive conversations with the dogs as I doubt Callum will want to live with his mum forever. The dogs however will ultimately decide what abode fits. Much as I would love to live by the sea, I don’t think my budget will stretch that far unless I move to the Outer Hebrides where a certain little chihuahua and I would freeze. Being an active canine family, they need room to run and I do have a romantic notion of galloping paws across the dunes whilst I walk barefooted through the shallow surf pondering my next bestseller. Hey, a girl can dream can’t she?

“ Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole” (Roger Caras)