As week’s go, the past one has been pants. Those of you who are familiar with my weekly musings will no that I never, okay very very rarely, cry but by yesterday morning I was reduced to a blubbering wreck drenching Denis’ shoulder. Mentally, physically and emotionally, I had reached my limit hence the meltdown. The Gods had been out in full force and I was the target.
It all started on Sunday night when I heard Sherman barking on the pool deck. Now the last time he did this was when the pool sprung its first leak so having spent Lord-knows how long fixing all the other flipping fuites, you can understand why I pelted down the balcony staircase in a panic. Only this time it wasn’t what was coming out, it was what had got in – one of the magpies was frantically trying to get itself up and away but was too soaked to do so. I grabbed the net pole and managed to whisk the poor bird out and onto the grass before running inside to grab a blanket to dry it off. I say it as I have no idea how to sex a bird but Bert or maybe Skirt was still too wet to spread their wings so I waited until it waddled off exhaustedly to recover under some bushes. My hopes were raised the following morning when I couldn’t see any sign of feathers or bird but dashed a few minutes later when I found it dead in the pool with a broken neck. Why it got back in there I will never know. The more worrying thing was that the magpie couple built a nest in one of my neighbour’s trees and I could hear the chicks. A couple of days later I saw its other half searching the garden before flying away in the opposite direction from the babies and I haven’t heard or seen the magpie since. I buried the partner by the wall under the tree. I shouldn’t get so emotional about a wild bird but I did – losing a loved one is something I know too well.
After that, well the ball carried on rolling downhill. Having decided to separate myself from the visiting family so that they could have Mumo to themselves, I ended up basically living in isolation upstairs. What I thought would be quite fun and a chance to finish upholstering a long overdue chair job and sketch the village map that I’d promised the Mayor I’d do but hadn’t got round to doing ended up being a thoroughly miserable experience not least because I missed Mumo dreadfully and she’s a little under the weather at the moment. Having told Denis not to worry about me eating alone as he had a house-sitting to take care of and a chance to catch up with some very old but not seen for ages friends, my appetite went out the balcony doors along with my stomach. To put it another way, me and my loo got very intimate. And to add to my self-pitying, all the family splashing around the pool led to one of the patches splitting so I was back scuba side sticking mountains of glue in the watery depths and trying to avoid turning my unnaturally blonde hair emerald green. There so much sticky stuff down there now, the corner looks like someone’s being trying to create an ice sculpture – less Rodin and more Rodney.
The last sentence wouldn’t have tipped me over the edge if it wasn’t for the non-arrival of the man what was supposed to drill the water pipe. Once again. At least this time he did have the decency to ring me albeit several hours after the confirmed 8 a.m rendezvous. One of his drill bits had broken the day before and he was very very sorry and promised that he would do what he need to do this coming week. ASAP. Luckily for him, I’d already put snot and sobs all over D’s T-shirt so he didn’t have to experience a woman wailing down the phone.
Thankfully, I woke up this morning in a more positive frame of mind having spent last night chilling out as usual down at Le Jardin with mes amies. The pipe will be done this week and better still, Phil is coming to stay. I haven’t seen him since I left the UK all those years ago so can’t wait for an old friend’s hugs. If you don’t know who Phil is, you haven’t read my book have you? I have warned him about the heat, we are moving towards a chaleur with August beckoning and to bring long trousers for the evenings unless you want to keep the mosquito population rising. I might suggest sturdy shoes as well as the ground is rock-hard with the lack of rain, the break your ankle kind but with any luck and positive vibes and two fingers up the the Gods, we will be able to keep the flora and fauna blooming once the water bubbles up from the depths of the front lawn. And I will actually be able to have an actual swim in the pool instead of plugging its bottom corners. Who knows, maybe one day soon I’ll write a blog that doesn’t have a single mention of the bloody thing? That’d be enough to wipe the tears and put a smile on any girl’s face…
“When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.” (Franklin D. Roosevelt)
Widow plus woofs 