Signs of Autumn

So, after five months of rainless skies and sweat, Autumn finally decided to make an appearance in dramatic style with a cracking great storm on Thursday. I’m sure the land was grateful for the deluge but probably not the howling gale that came with it – one that brought down several tonnes of acorns onto the pool deck that I’d just swept. I did wonder whether a retrieval of car canopies from next doors garden might be in order, velcro is no match for a violent tempest and neither is trying to bang down pegs under water. Still, a change in season is as good as a rest or at least it’s certainly blown away the cobwebs.

Yup, this girl’s been busy clearing the decks and not just the one with the sound of constant pinging. It all started with my TikTok detox. I may or may not have spent far too many evenings in the company of tarot card readers and other dubious ‘ologists worrying about where Saturn was rising to next or whether Mars and Uranus were going to have a bust up as to who was going to be in Scorpio tomorrow. So I deleted the little icon and went to work on all things outdoors instead. I braved the inside of the neglected serre, thankfully devoid of spiders and replaced the wilted summer stock with fresh seedlings and the two potagers are once more neat and tidy. Brother Simon and wife Alba came over during the week having hired a van to move stuff to their new home which meant switching furniture around so the main house didn’t look like The Louvre. They timed their visit well as I’d planned a wee apéro with friends on Friday night which ended up being a dinner – such an evening much needed after the foggy last few weeks.

Naturally, what with it being almost the end of October, I’ve been well-occupied in the workshop too. No, not because of Hallowe’en; my birthday isn’t really a thing in these parts thank the Gods as All Saint’s Day takes a priority. Whilst a few shops may adorn themselves with headless ghouls and trails of wispy cotton wool, chrysanthemums tend to be the main attraction although I must admit some of those displays can be frankly scarier. Anyway, I digress, it’s the Christmas crowds I’m planning for. I have a meeting tomorrow at the Chamber of Commerce (at the ungodly hour of 8.30 a.m) which fingers crossed will be the final step towards my licence. I have no doubt in my mind that I’ll probably forget an important document or five knowing how the French bureaucratic system works but with any luck my Nöel nuggets will festoon the local markets in the next months. In the meantime, I just have to bear the thought that I’ll be that little bit closer to not being in my fifties anymore in the far to near future – let’s just hope Venus doesn’t poke her nose in…

“Notice that autumn is more the season of the soul than of nature.” ( Friedrich Nietzsche)

Boots on, summer’s gone

Waking up this morning to the pitter patter of raindrops followed by a cracking thunderstorm was one thing but did the temperature have to drop by 10 degrees overnight? For the first time in months, I dragged out my boots such was the shock for my poor tootsies. I did shove the vacuum down their insides first, brother-in-law Steve’s tale of getting bitten by a spider when he put his arm in a long unworn jacket uppermost in my mind. But really? I mean I know we are heading into Autumn but I would’ve preferred the change in season to have come a little more gradually – I’m going to have to call the tanker man tomorrow so he can top up the oil reservoir. It’s almost time to switch on the radiators.

At least if summer was going to go out with a bang, literally, we had last week to be thankful for. Especially as I got to enjoy an albeit too brief visit from sister-in-law Frannie and the afore-mentioned Steve. I can’t say we did much except converse over a fair number of bottles followed by an evening of over-consumption of the food kind but there was the obligatory walk up the road to see my bit of Rouffiac terrain and a nip round to the épicerie to view my bijoux and top up the disappearing wine collection. And the sun stayed out for us so we could idly chit-chat up on my balcony whilst gazing down at the pristine but polar piscine. As I said, the stopover was far too short but for them, the last time they’ll pop over to the Collins’ family abode.

No, the grand old lady has not been sold yet but the latest immobilier says that October onwards is the best time for off-loading our fabulous property. I hope not too quickly as I’m still waiting for the lawyers to send me a bill for my plot. I’m told the delay is down to a newish government mandate about needing to analyse the soil – if they hit oil, I’ve already signed the papers and I should be going broke sometime in the next few days. I still can’t get my head around the fact I’m buying a third of a hectare with nothing on it or how I’m going to pay for it all but lucky for me, I have an army of friends in this little bit of France who’ve offered their expertises. Because I’m planning to do most of the interior myself much to Denis’ horror. Hah, if my Pop could build L’Horte, little brother Moth the same at Badens and I have a rising construction king in my son, something must have surely rubbed off in the genetics and I’m nothing if not stubborn.

Speaking of the man-child, it’s his birthday today. My world that is Callum has entered his 27th year which makes me feel ancient, not helped by sister-in-law Alba’s constant reminders about me turning 60 next year. I’m still 58 for another month thank you. I know both Frannie and I would agree that Tony’d be so proud of Callum and his achievements, not least of all taking himself off alone to the other side of the world and successfully finding a new life. And even though I know I’m no longer numero uno, him being happy equals ditto for this mum. I guess it’ll me soon who flies the coop and jumps into a world unknown (again) except mine is only a stroll down the main street and turn right. Good job I cleaned the boots…

“I’m steel-toed boots in a ballet-slipper world.” ( Richard Kadrey )

Summer’s last stand

Marie-Claude, resident of Rouffiac, has Covid and at the time of writing this; the internet is down. Thankfully, we don’t need the internet to find out the former’s malady – that’s what the épicerie is for but according to Orange, there’s been a rupture in the line and we might have to wait until tomorrow for a connection with the outside world. A rupture does sound pretty dire. At least the news of poor Marie-Claude waited until after Friday as that would have been disastrous for Le P’tit Bristrot and its team with it being the final knees up of the season. Almost everyone in the village turned up complete with silly hats and wonky wigs (odd Rouffiac tradition) to share the evening with friends and boogie to an impressive set by Nothing Concrete. No, I haven’t heard of them either but according to my gal Suzy, they just got back from playing a gig in Devon so they had to be pretty good. Less could be said for the dining fare although Suzy’s husband Bruce became even more popular than usual having brought Tabasco to liven up his chilli – queues forming at our table for a drop or two and to munch down on the pizza I always make just in case. The same as Mumo always did.

Mercifully, I’ve had enough time to recover for this morning’s visit by the latest estate agent else my head would have been still buried under Sherman. Photos were the order of today which for me meant hurrying around to get the apartment looking less like a factory and the pool looking vaguely clean before corralling the woofers out of sight lest they moon to the camera. Brother Simon told me such brave feats are unnecessary these days what with AI and fancy apps but 7 furry beasts could be stretch for any computer boffin. I did leave my latest creations on display though including the freshly-pimped up flower pots I found in the old chicken shed. That and the artfully displayed bijoux in the room downstairs. Well, they are after all, an international agency so you never know.

The above mentioned pool is still open by the way. We had considered closing it after the pictures were papped but Monsieur le Météo has decided that we aren’t quite ready for Autumn just yet and is sending a little heat our way in the coming week. You could be forgiven for thinking it’s Spring in September looking out at the garden foliage. And my pasteque is growing bigger by the day. Denis says I should use it as a Halloween decoration instead of the traditional pumpkin but at this rate it might end up in a Christmas pudding. Still, I am not going to complain about the daily chores deck-side; sister-in-law Frannie and her hubby Steve are popping through on Thursday so the barbecue will be pulled out once more and not too long after that, I’m flying off to the Motherland for a few days. A catch-up with my mother-in-law Jenny is much needed and of course, the mandatory lunches and dinners with friends. It will be as always, a short trip as leaving Denis with the dogs and their dietary requirements is never a comfortable thought and there’s the little thing called a plot of land that would look much nicer with a house on it. And fancy plant pots…

“September days have the warmth of summer in their briefer hours, but in their lengthening evenings a prophetic breath of autumn.” (Rowland E. Robinson)

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