Cold comforts and apple sauce

Without, I hope, sounding too bah humbag, that has to have been one of my most miserable Christmases and not because I didn’t have Mumo or the rest of the family here. That in itself would be bad enough but the boiler decided to break down so I’ve had no radiators radiating warmth for a week and it rained non-stop for 6 of those days. Oddly enough, the last time the heat packed up was back in 2020 – a time when none of us could share our dinner with loved ones and Mumo and I ended up sharing a duck breast over a tiny hall table being only the two of us. On the plus side, thanks to her, we now have a lovely fireplace down in living room downstairs so I can remain partially de-frosted until Max the chauffagiste can fix the wretched reservoir.

Okay, it hasn’t been all bad. Despite our number being somewhat diminished by the usual winter arrival of the flu bug, Denis and I did get to host a decent spread on Christmas Day in the big house thanks to that lovely fireplace. And as I was playing lady of the manor, I treated my French famille to something more traditional where I come from. I’m not entirely sure everyone liked the pudding but the brandy butter was washed down well and I had several requests for my apple sauce recipe – honestly I thought we stole the idea from them but I’ll take the compliments for us Brits. Present opening with the Collins’ is always after lunch which was a little stressful for D’s grand-daughter Maria – such excitements are usually on Christmas Eve for les enfants but she lasted well and with the help of some of the woofers who I sneaked in (big brother Simon will never know )and gifts under the tree, gave a more than passable impression of a shredder on max speed.

Spending the holiday season on my own for the first time is, well, a little strange. Okay, there are my beloved woofers who have to be dislodged from from various parts of my body every morning so I can be all-Cinders like and rush down the outside staircase to clean the fireplace before attempting to set light to it. You would imagine by this time, my furry bedspread would be leaping around their palatial land but no, they don’t like the frigid wet stuff anymore than me so stay snug under the duvet. Then of course, there is Denis who appears like a scruffy angel at regular intervals to revive my pathetic offerings to the heat Gods and those friends who rallied round with various plug-in radiators having heard of my plight. Yet, and even though the sun has finally decided to make a break for it and Monsieur le météo has kindly turned off the tap, I’m still feeling selfishly lonely at times. I blame the weather, I’m still English after all even if I haven’t spoken my mother tongue for what seems like eons and my jaw aches from all the vocal yoga but there’s a New Year just around the corner and with that, let’s hope, a little home on the top of a hill just up the road and to the right. Without a boiler but definitely, most definitely a fireplace…

See you all in 2026!

““There are better things ahead than any we leave behind.” (C.S. Lewis)

Christmas 2025

Well, here we are. The second to last blog of 2025 and on the winter solstice as well – I wonder what astrologists would say about that but then again, I’m trying to steer clear of that temptation. If I’m being honest, it still doesn’t feel much like Christmas without Mumo here or the Collins’ family crowding the kitchen and I’ll probably a total mess when Lou and Maxime the nephews leave for their Mum’s on Tuesday. For a start, I still haven’t succeeded in the roasting fireplace department – a job Denis is going to have to take on if I’m to have any decent heat in the apartment and having to look after that big old house all by myself feels slightly Dickensian for some reason. I did think about moving in there, briefly I might add; the thought of letting Sherman loose with all that furniture and his penchant for lifting a leg on new smells slammed the lid on that one. However, there is a plus side to all this aloneness – I can play Christmas music all day long without anyone complaining, not counting the woofers.

Actually, as weeks go and despite my grouchy approach to the season, the past one has been rather fun. Denis and I had the chance to pop back over to brother Simon’s and wife Alba’s place in Argeliers for a spot of lunch and to pick up the rest of what will eventually be my new kitchen. We nearly didn’t make it as, due to a French farmers strike blocking the main arterial routes, Denis decided to take the back roads – a lot of them. Through very tiny villages in our not so small camion. Thankfully, my man is a very good driver but unfortunately lacking much sense of direction so many of those villages were seen more than once until he eventually gave in to my request for good old Google. At least we managed to take the right turns on our return journey, an art in itself with so much cabinetry crammed in the van and the only thing stopping us from unloading the lot mid-way was a piece of rope holding the ‘couldn’t quite get them closed’ back doors in place. Mission completed, the garage is now bursting with cupboards and counter tops; all of which are desperate for renovation and a decent paint job but will have to wait until the weather gets a little warmer.

Mind you, we have been lucky in the temperature department and apart from one spectacular storm, all balmy and blue skies so much so that I got to see some impressive aerial manoeuvres over the gardens. Standing on a sun-drenched terrace one afternoon, I saw a falcon come in to land on one of the trees next to the pool deck. It’s not the first time this particular raptor has visited; the last time it nearly got chomped by Arry as it misjudged the weight of the dove between its talons and swooped a little too low but now was happily snoozing on a branch. It must have been sleeping as the falcon took no notice of Bert and Skirt’s (the resident magpies) dive-bombing – sensibly not too close. And if that wondrous sight wasn’t enough, Friday had me pointing my phone up to the heavens and Simon checking Flight Radar so we could catch a glimpse of a plane. No, I haven’t taken up a new hobby; this was a special bypass – Maxime flying solo across the horizon above. Okay, very far above but a proud moment nevertheless. And with Simon and Alba going off to Miami the next morning, we all sat down to a pre-Christmas celebratory feast that evening – pigeon casserole, I kid you not.

And with that, to all I wish you a wonderful Noël. May your stockings be full and glasses overflow. May your tables groan with the most delicious of delicacies and the sound of corks popping. Cheers everyone!

“Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.” ( Andy Borowitz)

Snotty noses and soulful spirits

There are many things that I’m not very good at and dealing with a stinky cold is one of them. I don’t do illness well whether its being the nurse or worse, the patient. I spent most of last week under a black cloud of doom in full sneeze mode with only the occasional respite thanks to whoever invented Vicks. Feeling and looking like someone coming off a heroin bender was one thing but being understood in your non-native language, I discovered, was frustrating to say the least – try differentiating deux, dix or douze with a stuffed up nose. Still, as more than one in the village told me, it’s better to succumb now than in the summer or on Christmas Day and I am now, finally almost back to my normal festive self.

I say almost back because at this point in December, I should be busy wrapping presents and helping organise bedrooms for incoming family the week before the big day but not this year. There’ll be no-one here but me and the woofers over the holiday period so the spirit is a little off. In an attempt to bring out my inner Santa sense and since I am playing host for some of Denis’ family on Christmas Day, I dragged my man off to the local jardinarie to buy a big fat tree to liven up the main house. I have to admit that compared to my apartment which is twinkling merrily and despite the sapin for once being tastefully decorated with no tinsel in sight, the place still looks somewhat bereft without Mumo’s presence and that of my siblings. As my sister Bong put in her recent text, it’s a strange time this year.

Having said all that, the property wasn’t totally devoid of bodies this week – we had another viewing and this time by a young couple and their kids. Having off-loaded all but one of the woofers on Denis and the camion, I left the estate agent in charge and took myself and Alice up to what will be our new plot up the road and to the right. If you are wondering why Alice wasn’t with the others then you’ve never been in a car with her – she’s very loud, painfully so. As we took in the view of the Corbières and the ambient surroundings, okay she was paying more attention to the Goldie across the road, it dawned on me how quickly this last year has passed and how much has happened within those 12 months. Walking back a little time later down the lane to the back of my current home, I saw the two children playing on our front lawn. I didn’t mean to pry, it’s just that Alice had seen a cat on our wall and was trying her best to get in a bit of extreme rock-climbing but it felt vaguely reassuring that hopefully, in the not too distant future, the place would have a family again.

And it’s not just the big house that feel a little off at the moment, the poor garden doesn’t know which season it’s supposed to be in. With the weather deciding that blue skies and high teen degrees is perfectly normal in wintertime, half the foliage is on the floor whilst the rest is in full bloom. On the positive side, this does help charge up the solar lights illuminating our reindeer display but I do worry about my plantings as I will have to move them in the next few months and they really should be asleep by now. Still, one can’t deny that a little bit of sunshine does the spirit and the snotty nose a world of good and with only so many shopping days left until Christmas, I am determined to bring a little bit of Sophi magic to the party. And now, with my new television courtesy of a priceless pal, it’s time to switch on the Disney classics, put on the dancing slippers and get out the wrapping paper don’t you think?…

“December, being the last month of the year, cannot help but make us think of what is to come.” (Fennel Hudson)

Boredom goes in the back seat

Unlike my darling Arry who sees any trip in a car as a chance to unleash his inner puppy at full volume, being driven instead of being the driver gives me a chance to silence the mind bubbles and just enjoy the passing countryside. Such occasions are rare, mainly because I’m a bit of a control freak and Denis’ excitable chatter does tend to lead to missing exits off roundabouts – I once told he’d make a fortune as a tourist taxi what with his ‘scenic routes’. However, an opportunity to pop over to brother Simon’s new house to pick up some goodies for my yet to be built abode needed the camion and since I’m not a fan of a stick shift – D took charge and I got the window seat. Taking the back roads was, for once, worth it as the journey between here and Argeliers winds across flat plains covered with vines over-looked by the impressive Corbières mountain range which you don’t really get a proper view of when you’re bombing down the autoroute at 130 kms an hour. It was a lovely day out, not least because I managed to add a very large water tank and a slew of kitchen cabinets to my bulging storage space that used to be the carport but it also broke the monotony of what was a rather boring week.

Okay, it wasn’t like I didn’t have work to do, just that I was getting a bit tired of tedium that comes with end of November but not yet December days. D and I did drag out all the Christmas decorations from the loft which appeared to have multiplied since last year, probably due to the number of lights which no longer work but I’d stuffed up there anyway. And yes, the fairies had been at it again and I had to spend an entire day unravelling strands of wiring which I’m sure I’d neatly arranged before packing them but as boredom-busting activities go, getting tangled in tinsel isn’t one of them. Still, at least the picture is now up in the signboard’s frame, not that anyone’s probably seen it due to the depressing weather of late and I have made a start on our idea for the corner wall display so hands have not been idle.

Having said all that, it wasn’t all blah. Knowing my nephew had a guest staying for the weekend meaning endless piano talk over what, I can only describe as on odd choice for dinner party food; soup, Denis and I elected to share take-out pizza with friends down the road last night. Michel and Frederique are one of those couples that, no matter what hell has hit them in life, see the rainbow and make you want to look out of the same window. After all, it’s December next week and we all know what that means. There’s a tree to buy, presents to think about, cards to be written, a pudding to make and a corner to decorate. Time to get back in the driver’s seat me thinks…

“Stop looking at the walls; look out the window” (Karl Pilkington)

It’s in the way you view it

We had another viewing this week. The estate agent told me afterwards that the gentleman in question happened to be part of a certain very well-known Domaine family in these parts – actually you can get their Blanquette pretty much anywhere but I digress. Naturally, he loved the house and all its additions but as she put it, had one major issue – the view of the pool from the apartment terrace. No privacy. Now, admittedly the bloody thing is impossible to miss but, as I pointed out to the agent, you could always hide with a few giant oleanders or maybe just move the entire ensemble into the front garden. I was joking about the latter but I could see her brain cogs working.

Personally, if it had been me showing the gent around, I would have directed his gaze a little more to the left. That’s a view I never tire of. Okay, he may not have wanted to see the humungous steel grey vats of the winery below (not his after all) but it’s impossible not to let the eyes drift up into the hills beyond. It’s not that the landscape is particularly beautiful, quite bare really but there’s something incredibly peaceful about it. And of course, being an Englishwoman, one gets the weather forecast just by looking at the sky above it each morning. Today, gloomy with drizzle but at least mildly warmer than most of last week – flippin’ freezing. I’m not built for the cold, just putting a foot outside the door brings on frostbite. Still, it was a good excuse to stay indoors and finish the tableau for the billboard which I have but you’ll have to wait until Denis puts it in for a glimpse.

Yet, whilst it may be an eyesore to some, I’m hoping the pool is going to give me a different view in the coming months with the installation of a little present I bought for myself. Although I highly doubt that my camera trap will blow me away with the same nightlife little brother Moth gets on his – cheetahs and lions don’t tend to wander this way but the bowels of the piscine’s huge deck do provide a winter shelter for those out there in our bit of French wilderness. As per normal, I had to get nephew Maxime to figure out all its bells and whistles and set it to turn on in the middle of the night – no-one wants to see what the woofers get up to down there and nocturnal nature is so much more interesting. And speaking of my four-legged co-inhabitants, I managed to get them all in one place and eyes front for the annual Christmas photo so I can start ordering cards next week. Perhaps the nice gentleman might like one with a different viewpoint…

“The landscape belongs to the person who looks at it.” ( Ralph Waldo Emerson⁠)

Adding the fantasie

It goes without saying that, looking back on the nearly 7 years of writing this blog, there’ve been a fair few milestones inscribed on its stone. Admittedly, most etchings tend to be somewhat depressing so I am particularly proud to add a sparkly one today. Yup, it’s official, I am now a registered jewellery designer and licensed to bling. Actually, the exact name for my trade is ‘createur de bijoux fantasie’ which, by the way, does not mean I’m plying my wares in Ann Summers so keep your heads out of the gutter. According to the very nice man in the office, the fantasie bit separates me from those who work with real gemstones and precious metals as opposed to moi who twists copper wire and whittles wood. Anyway, suffice to say that I am absolutely delighted that the almost impossible to say in French, Witch Wackle, is now a legitimate microenterprise. Dead chuffed.

And Witch Wackle wasn’t the only start-up to open its doors this week, the pizza van fired up its ovens for the rumbly tums on Friday evening. It’s not the first time I’ve invested in a local business but I do love pizza and Christophe knows how to flip ’em. Charmingly gruff and built like a boxer (he was once Marie le Pen’s bodyguard), Christophe has become a good friend and is no stranger to running food trucks so I was happy to help and he did accompany me through all the government paperwork needed to get the bijoux signature. Between Le Jardin, Pizza King and now Witch Wackle, I feel like quite the business woman, which considering I failed maths, French, cookery and art at school, is an accomplishment in itself.

So here I am, proper suited and all, except in torn jeans and scuffed boots, making my own little marker here in this little village hidden amongst the vines in deepest South-West France – a place that brought everyone together on Tuesday to mark Remembrance Day outside the church. Although it wasn’t the sort of occasion where peeps dressed up to the nines, I did pin a poppy badge to my jumper which was joined soon after by a blue paper flower. These are the French symbols of commemoration so I felt very honoured to be given one and place the two side by side. The service was, as always, poignant and respectful, especially as most of the readings were down by local schoolchildren who also ended the morning with a rousing rendition of something unfamiliar but that might have been down to all the notes sung but not necessarily in the right order.

Speaking of all things creative and community, the coming week will see me wearing yet another hat – it’s time to start designing the corner wall’s display and panneau. My artistic ability is hardly Louvre quality but me painting the seasonal scene on the signboard down the road has become a tradition, much like how much Christmas kitsch we can cram into the bit of garden over-looking it. I have promised Denis a little more taste this year and less luminosity although he did raise an eyebrow when I mentioned leaping reindeer and why not dangle Santa from the almond tree so we’ll see. After all, one should always have a bit of fantasie…

“If one is lucky, a solitary fantasy can totally transform one million realities” (Maya Angelou)

Storm in a dog bowl

Just in case we’d forgotten what month we were in, what with all the autumnal sunshine of late, November reminded us this week. Three days of non-stop rain and bullet-grey skies. The old kayak we had at L’Horte would have come in useful as getting across the driveway or out of the front gate became less about jumping puddles and more about navigating the rapids. That being said, the tempest has run its course and we are back under blue skies once more which perhaps could be a metaphor for my over-worrying self this past week.

At least the deluge waited until after Thursday’s pootle; running up those trails is not exactly fun when your trainers are squelching and, as I’ve mused many times before, sunrise over the vines is a spectacular sight but not when you’re to busy trying to remove chunks of clay from your soles. We almost made it home and dry and would have if it wasn’t for Arry’s very rare change in pace – he just couldn’t keep up. Hence the worry.

I shall explain. A couple of weeks ago, I got an email from the vet clinic to make a few appointments for my ‘senior’ dogs – Arry included. I ruled out Simi, Neo, Coco and Mo – Simi has only recently been checked over and there’s no way a vet could examine Neo or Mo without full body armour. Arry on the other hand is a German Shepherd, as most of you will know, one with only two gears – full steam ahead or fast asleep, the latter only taken when the lights go out. But he is 10 years old and after a minor trip one morning, he seemed a little unsteady. Naturally, being me and having far too much experience with the breed, I whizzed my gorgeous idiot off to be scanned from head to tail. Note, what I just mentioned – two speeds which meant any chance of lying still for one second was out of the question so he needed sedating. Now, Arry and I have been through a lot over our years together and he’s had more lives than a cat but seeing him just flop into a comatose state was terrifying as was waiting for him to come out the other side. As he snoozed peacefully on the floor post-echograph, bloods and X rays, he suddenly looked old – when did this happen? Thankfully, all is okay, sort of. Arthritis in his lower back which means lots of physio but no sign of any of the other evils that tend to be associated with Shepherds. And he can still run the trails, exercise is good for him although a few less kilometres I think.

At least now with that storm in a dog bowl over and the forecast better, I can get back to work with Arry and his cohorts underfoot. I have my next appointment with the license department tomorrow morning at the slightly more reasonable hour of 9 a.m. which if the Gods are playing nice will mean I can make the Christmas markets. Let’s keep our fingers crossed for clear skies ahead, kayaks make me seasick…

““The nicest thing about the rain is that it always stops. Eventually.” (Eeyore)

Signs of Autumn

So, after five months of rainless skies and sweat, Autumn finally decided to make an appearance in dramatic style with a cracking great storm on Thursday. I’m sure the land was grateful for the deluge but probably not the howling gale that came with it – one that brought down several tonnes of acorns onto the pool deck that I’d just swept. I did wonder whether a retrieval of car canopies from next doors garden might be in order, velcro is no match for a violent tempest and neither is trying to bang down pegs under water. Still, a change in season is as good as a rest or at least it’s certainly blown away the cobwebs.

Yup, this girl’s been busy clearing the decks and not just the one with the sound of constant pinging. It all started with my TikTok detox. I may or may not have spent far too many evenings in the company of tarot card readers and other dubious ‘ologists worrying about where Saturn was rising to next or whether Mars and Uranus were going to have a bust up as to who was going to be in Scorpio tomorrow. So I deleted the little icon and went to work on all things outdoors instead. I braved the inside of the neglected serre, thankfully devoid of spiders and replaced the wilted summer stock with fresh seedlings and the two potagers are once more neat and tidy. Brother Simon and wife Alba came over during the week having hired a van to move stuff to their new home which meant switching furniture around so the main house didn’t look like The Louvre. They timed their visit well as I’d planned a wee apéro with friends on Friday night which ended up being a dinner – such an evening much needed after the foggy last few weeks.

Naturally, what with it being almost the end of October, I’ve been well-occupied in the workshop too. No, not because of Hallowe’en; my birthday isn’t really a thing in these parts thank the Gods as All Saint’s Day takes a priority. Whilst a few shops may adorn themselves with headless ghouls and trails of wispy cotton wool, chrysanthemums tend to be the main attraction although I must admit some of those displays can be frankly scarier. Anyway, I digress, it’s the Christmas crowds I’m planning for. I have a meeting tomorrow at the Chamber of Commerce (at the ungodly hour of 8.30 a.m) which fingers crossed will be the final step towards my licence. I have no doubt in my mind that I’ll probably forget an important document or five knowing how the French bureaucratic system works but with any luck my Nöel nuggets will festoon the local markets in the next months. In the meantime, I just have to bear the thought that I’ll be that little bit closer to not being in my fifties anymore in the far to near future – let’s just hope Venus doesn’t poke her nose in…

“Notice that autumn is more the season of the soul than of nature.” ( Friedrich Nietzsche)

Hoos and hums

Considering how much I had wound myself up about jumping into the fiery depths of land purchase in the previous blog, the events of last week turned out to be nothing more than a brief puff of smoke. That’s not to say nothing happened, we are talking about my life after all but between the meeting with the notaire and the following one with the architect, the gear stick is still firmly stuck in neutral. For a start, my lawyer discovered that the building permit bought back in 2012 needed to be re-applied for and the utilities turned back on again all resulting in having to write up another contract. Thankfully, none of these are my responsibility but they do take time. Having said that, the Mayor popped up to the terrain during my house planning rendez-vous and promised me he’d whizz things through the necessary channels. As we wandered around the precious plot, he told me how lucky I was to have the chance of being its proprietor – there is no better view in Rouffiac. Oddly, that made me relax and take the proverbial chill pill. Well, almost. The Hoo is back.

Yup, the pesky poltergeist decided it was time to make a re-appearance just in case I’d forgotten its existence. Getting out the automatic front gate became a race as to whether or not one could shoot through before the device decided to close and any attempt to use the sewing machine meant detangling copious amounts of thread from its underparts. As anyone knows, I am not the most patient when it comes to technology so any Zen derived from taking up running again was lost in a slew of never to be repeated expletives. Then there was that small matter of sorting out my L’identité Numérique for my work license which my dear friend Giselle had offered to sort out. By the time I had retaken numerous photos of my visage front side and back, I did feel like shouting ” I’m not a number! I am a free man!” what with the computer refusing to recognise my personage. I did eventually please the man in the machine and now I have to go to the post office to get my QR code scanned so I can be numerated.

As I said, we have once more taken to the trails although judging by the limping after the first run, Arry and I are definitely feeling our age. That and the architect’s comment about how a plein pied (single storey house) is probably the better choice for someone not far off sixty. That coming from a counsel who was off to have a knee operation the next day, mine are quite fine thank you very much, strapped to the nines but still operational. It will take a few weeks before my four-pawed cohort and I stop creaking and wheezing but hitting the pre-dawn alarm is the best way of clearing away the mental debris especially with Autumn’s paintbrush covering the landscape once more in red and gold as we hum our way through the vines. The Hoo better have a good pair of running shoes…

“Adopt the pace of nature. Her secret is patience.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

Fingers off the panic button

Considering how glad I was to be back under sunny skies and woofer snogs after my somewhat traumatic exit from the Motherland, you’d think I’d be raring to get on with things but no. I don’t know whether it was that phone call from the notaire to set a date for the signing over of my bank account for a piece of land or the next ping from the architect for a ‘let’s build a bungalow’ meet up that sent my mood skyrocketing south but something did. I should have been elated with the news but instead all I could think about was money. Or lack of which is stupid as I have no idea how much a house will cost yet but the brain bugs weren’t having any of it. My decision to rid the mind of such useless prattle by cleaning all the apartment windows was not a wise one either, nothing broken except my temper – the streaks are still there. Thankfully, such moue moments can never last long; between Denis’ eternal optimism about winning the lotto and a bed full of canine cuddles, a girl can’t stay glum for long. That and the afore-mentioned sunshine – October and we are in 20 plus degrees of warm.

Perhaps the funk was down to a short spell of PTSD of the getting out of England kind – I don’t cope well out of the driver’s seat, makes me nauseous. I got stuck in the airport hotel lift for 10 minutes going up and down all floors except mine which sent me into a blind panic, who knew you were supposed to touch your key card on that black spot on the wall? Between that and not knowing how the hell to find a way out of London to catch the plane, the control freak in me had a melt-down. I would however like to thank the Gods for not unleashing my belongings throughout the turbulent trip, it was only when I got on the plane that I realised my over-stuffed little suitcase was only partially closed.

It’s taken quite a lot of self talking to and more than a few face slaps but I’m back to being a busy little bee. With the prospect of getting my licence in the next couple of weeks, the bijoux workshop has me buzzing with ideas – especially the wood kind. I can work with wood for hours on end, it’s as close to meditation I can get. And of course, there are all the other chores that come with living in such a palatial property (the estate agent calls it a luxury home which is a bit of a stretch but whatever gets it sold) – the gardens need weeding and the potager looks like the apocalypse popped by for a start. On the plus side, I can forget about the pool now it’s tucked away for the winter and despite the lack of rain, the whole place is blooming. It might be October but the flowers haven’t got that memo yet. And I for one am keeping my fingers crossed that next week will be coming up roses…

““You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go, and see what happens.” (Mandy Hale)