According to Denis, I had a narrow escape the other day. I’d left him up on the terrace re-potting my ancient Peace Lily and tidying up the outdoor space whilst I popped next door to strip out Slim’s (Alice’s other son) coat when, upon my return, he announced that I’d had some visitors. “I found two black widow spiders under those rocks over there” he delightedly informed me, “like the one that bit you”. Well, for one thing the savage beast that munched my hand was a recluse spider and two, I’m not convinced such deadly creatures are residing under Arry’s cailloux collection. False widows perhaps but not the real ones. But Denis was insistent so I let him be the hero for a few minutes. I almost called him this morning when I opened the downstairs door and found another arachnid wiggling its legs at me on the jamb but I let it be. It was brown. Yup, the clocks have gone forward and Spring is nigh.

Frankly, I’m surprised the spiders managed to stay in one place considering the atrocious weather the last week of March brought us – wet and windy. Very. Mind you, the sun has finally come out today even if it is still gusty and the météo is forecasting a brighter week ahead. Let’s hope so because Denis is picking up the pool liner tomorrow but the poseur can’t fit it until the thermometer hits 20 degrees. With all the rain of late, the bloody thing has started to refill itself with the wrong sort of water. Still, having had a decent soaking with the right sort, the garden is looking very Spring-like and the birds are tweeting away merrily from their various nesting points. Bert and Skirt, the resident magpies have once again built their abode in the huge cedar tree adjacent to the terrace which is a little worrying as the one they added up there last year got blown down and they lost their brood.

Speaking of building things, I’ve finally taken the leap and made Witch Wackle public. That is to say, my new ‘micro enterprise’ now has a name and a couple of social media accounts. It took me a while to think of a name; anything with Sophi had already been taken – obviously a popular name amongst furniture restorers, so I decided to use my childhood nickname as a tribute to Mumo. Callum approves. To be honest, I’m not well-versed in the art of content or video editing which I’m told should be uploaded daily – who has that kind of time to fiddle about? I spent half of this morning trying to ‘dress’ a rather gorgeous Victorian style plant stand I’d bought back to life; she looked great in the sunshine but the only flowers in pots I could find were orchids which didn’t really suit the frame. Still, the work itself is educational and addictive even if I no longer have fingernails or a pair of unstained jeans or the vaguest understanding of Facebook posting. Considering the number of careers I have had; restaurant manager, model, receptionist, fitness guru, dog trainer, groomer and behaviour consultant, for the first time in my life I’m enjoying the freedom of working alone and no longer having to look at the clock. Unless there’s a spider waving back…

““A mind that is stretched by new experiences can never go back to its old dimensions.” (Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr)