Stormy spirits and shaky chakras

Driving the easily walkable distance over to the pizza van to grab a few for a pre-festival apéro at Denis’ daughter’s house, a few metres further up the same road, the thought struck me as to how far removed my life is now from the one I had with Tony. I know it’s not the first time my mind has wandered off into such contemplations but something happened to me on Friday or should I say someone did something to me which wasn’t what I expected and has left me feeling a little off-balance. Hence the introspectiveness.

Actually, most of the past week has been, for want of a better phrase, eye-opening. For once, Monsieur le météo was bang on when he mentioned a storm coming last Sunday – D and I sat under the parasol watching the the skies light up and the blessed rain come down. It’s funny the way such things can affect your mood; I find such summer spectacles weirdly relaxing considering how scary they can look. I’m not sure Neo is of the same opinion, the poor thing gets stressed by any loud bangs although most of the other woofers remain blissfully unbothered. Alas the downpour only lasted a couple of hours and it doesn’t look like we will see another one anytime in the near future. In fact, D and his brother Thierry had to spend a couple of days chopping down trees killed by last year’s chaleur which would have made me weep but instead has resulted in even more space in the garden and I’ve never used elderberry wood before. And speaking of whittling while you work, some of my pendant, pots and whatnots are now in Severine and Nicola’s shop in St-Hilaire and better yet, have been spotted by my friend Jude, at the town’s Thursday night market. I’ve yet to discover how things are going on the selling front, nerves perhaps but I have said I’ll pop over in the next few days. I still find it hard to get my head around the idea that I actually dabble in design instead of dog brains. Makes the mind boggle.

And that’s why I ended up having my chakras stabilised on Friday – unintentionally. You see, I’ve been having a little problem with my right hand cramping up every now and again which I can only assume is down to repetitive strain injury so I got myself an appointment with Michel Bougis. Now Michel is what you might call an ‘alternative’ practitioner who knows a thing or two about how the body works so I strolled down the same bit of road that D insists needs to be taken in four-wheeled style so he could maybe do a bit of manipulation on my malfunctioning main. Er no. I wouldn’t say I’m a sceptic by any means, people have the right to believe in what they believe as long as it doesn’t involve abuse but honestly, I’ve never really thought about my interior energy points getting blocked. But don’t knock it til you’ve tried it is a motto worth living by. Having watched his pendulum hover over a drawing with seven circles around a body, alarmingly wavering all over the place when it came to the torso area (deals with emotional baggage he informed me), Michel sat me on a chair with my bare feet on what looked like a mouse pad (the computer sort). I was told to imagine a light coming from above me and a vacuum going into the ground below; oddly quite de-stressing except for the fleeting sensation of not being able to move my legs when I opened my eyes. Then I got to lie on a table whilst Michel explained to me where and why I had shaky chakras, thankfully only two out of seven before he proceeded to realign them. I’m not great at being in one position for very long but being unwound left me almost comatose even if the glow of my ‘third eye’ did make me wonder if I was about to leave this mortal world for a second or two. But, excuse the pun, I’m not making light of my session with Michel. He knew things about the workings innermost psyche that no-one, apart from my bestie Rene and my Callum, know and as I walked back down the very short road home, I felt weirdly weightless and empty-headed (no blonde jokes please). Normally, as those of you who know me know, my mind is like a ping-pong tournament on speed play and I can’t say having all that suddenly stop has made for a particularly comfortable state to be in but I do feel calmer and it’s noticeable I’ve been told. How long this mellow me will last, who knows but as a good friend said recently: “Soph, you drive an automatic, you wouldn’t know where first gear was”. Maybe but my car’s stick shift has Park written on it…

“For fast acting relief, try slowing down.” ( Lily Tomlin)

Bringing out the blossom

According to the online horoscopes that I said I wasn’t going to read anymore, the start of the Chinese New Year on Tuesday was all about shedding the old Snake’s skin and embracing the power of the Fire Horse. Well, I’m not sure about the descaling bit but my epidermis is currently exposed to a strange phenomenon as I currently tap tap away on this here blog whilst sitting out on my terrace under a hazy blue sky and a ball of sun rays. And if Monsieur Météo’s forecast is anything to go by, we are about to have a little more of a taste of Spring in the coming days; something we thoroughly deserve down here after all the storms and soaking of late. As I was filling up the bird feeders yesterday, the surprise noting of the plum tree’s blossom made me do a little happy dance – a careful one as the garden is rather over-grown and you’d best be careful what you might step on.

It’s hard not to feel optimistic when the sun rises a little earlier each morning and is actually visible out there. And whilst I’m still not at my best, nor any the wiser as to what my internals are playing at, the change in season goes a long way towards a healthier outlook on life. As does having a load of friends come out of hibernation for a Chinese feast served up by yours truly and a successful one at that which was quite amazing considering the main house kitchen only has a three hob top, two of the guests were vegetarian, one was very allergic to fish and I couldn’t find the wok. A much enjoyed and well lubricated evening was had by all if the following morning texts were anything to go by as well as pats on the back for this hostess on giving up the nicotine and ‘you’re looking a lot better’ comments – I’d take that as a compliment if it didn’t make me think how I must have looked before.

Mind you, such remarks about one’s well-being are a great boost for the brain cells as are cloudless skies. Having nearly fainted at the organ-doning cost of the architect’s building team, I went shopping for a new one and found a possible candidate who just happens to be a friend of the Lovely Lionel so totally trustworthy. I haven’t met Hakim yet but Denis has taken him up to the land and gone over the specs with him and he’s still interested so positive vibes abounding. I even went as far as digging out all the boxes of Lego that our family have passed down the generations and built a sort of slightly out scale model of my one day abode for reference. Denis told Hakim it was an ‘English’ thing to do, I said it was a sensible one which it is as I realised all the windows on the spec drawing were in the wrong place and D’s idea that I should have double doors going out from the bedroom would mean I’d be waking up to a lovely view of the neighbour’s fence. With any luck and crossed fingers, my new best guy will be able to start as soon as the lawyers have finished my end.

Speaking of anniversaries and looking good at a certain age; yesterday marked 10 years since I took in a young foster pup named Ace. A decade later and Aragorn, aka Arry is still under my feet. I must admit I forget sometimes that he is, being a German Shepherd, old but he wears it well and is still an idiotic juvenile at heart. As I’m sure I’ve scribed many times over many blogs, his presence has kept me going through hell and high water even if only because he’s done something stupid more often than not. He may not be able to run up those hills anymore but Arry’s zest for always looking forward to the next best morning is a mantra this girl is aiming for. That and flip flops…

“An optimist is the human personification of Spring” (Susan J. Bissonette)

It’s in the way you see it

There is a saying, at least in our family, that, if you want to Google possible maladies, its almost always better to look at a French website rather than a US one. The former will tell you to take a Dolypran (Paracetamol) whereas the latter will advise immediate surgery. Which is exactly why, after this week’s visit to the doctor, I’ve got myself all in a tizzy.

It all started with the afore-mentioned appointment. To be honest, I’m not a huge fan of GPs including our local one – I don’t think he treated Mumo very well and let’s not go into what happened with Tony and the one in Streatham but since I hadn’t had a health check in five years, I thought best to go and get one done. Doc seemed to think I looked okay for a gal of my age and my vitals were normal so he booked the nurse to come and take my blood. Here, the infirmiere not only comes to your house but at the crack of dawn before you’ve had a chance to boil the kettle – mind you being half-asleep whilst she stabs a needle in your vein is an advantage. I hate needles. Anyway, she took her pint and a half of my precious fluid and popped it into the lab who, I have to say were very speedy and sent me the results the same afternoon. All fine except the one typed in bold and let’s face it, less than one minuscule point outside the box. Naturally, I hit the Google button and not the French one. Well, apparently I should take more care of myself (duh), give up the sinful pleasures (no kidding) and avoid stress (hah). The first two are a no-brainer but the last, well that’s easier said than done although the recent re-appearance of the sun is helping as the belligerent boiler isn’t.

Surprisingly, my eyeballs are doing just fine. Doctor Lefevre’s office wasn’t my only tick off the list of must-do’s this week; I popped into the ophthalmologist’s too. That was a bit of a palaver in itself. For a start, I had to do several circuits of the hospital car park before a spot opened up, then I discovered that the clinic wasn’t in the main building but behind it, with several empty parking spaces right in front of it. Armed with my phone’s QR code message, I then attempted to negotiate my allotted time with the machine right inside the entrance which refused to acknowledge my wiggling screen in front of it so I had to put all the info in manually. The dalek then gave me a ticket to take the reception desk where I was asked exactly the same details that I’d just typed in. “Go to waiting room A” she said. I did. A few minutes later, I was ushered into a room where my eyeballs got a thorough look at before I was then told “go to waiting room B”. I did. Once again, name called and another room for another good peer at my peepers. Suffice to say that an hour later, I had made it through waiting room D and after a quick chat with a very nice optical expert, I exited with just a prescription for new glasses and the advice that I didn’t need to come back for a couple of years.

It’s not that I’ve become obsessed with my health all of a sudden; I eat well and work out regularly but watching a documentary about ways to make you live longer the other night made me realise I have to make some changes. Mind you, the idea that one should face one’s fears in order to boost your body’s defences isn’t exactly what I was thinking of. Since my biggest phobia is heights, Denis reckons I should hang my head out of the top floor window until the feeling of death disappears – not gonna happen. Nephew Maxime had a better idea, his opinion, saying he’d take me flying with him as long as I promised not to freak out and touch a button or three – whilst I trust him implicitly, I do not like aeroplanes either, particularly small ones. I prefer the other of the show’s suggestions – slow down a little and calm the mentals. After all, January’s but a memory and according to local lore, if the first month of the year is pants then the rest of the year is going to be hula skirts…

“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.” (Mark Twain)

Resolutions and wrinkles

Well, there you go, another week over and another year older. Yup, I’ve had my last birthday in my 50’s and, not being one to shy away from a good knees-up, I did it in style and suffered for it. My mind may think I’m still in my youth but the body does not. Still, knee joints aside, I had a cracking good night boogieing into the wee hours whilst consuming my body weight in pizza. And, aside from Denis providing my favourite nutrition, the weather stayed just about perfect so we could dine al fresco on my terrace surrounded by tripping hazards in the form of prone woofers.

I have to say I don’t feel 59 but then again I’ve never been 59 before. Whilst I’m sure the wrinkle count is doubling daily, I tend to avoid lengthy conversations with mirrors and being flat-chested, I’m lucky nothing’s sagging in that department. Callum tells me I look ‘pretty good’ for my age which is why he is the centre of my world, unlike brother Simon who pointed out I was really 60 minus 364 days yesterday – I should remind him that he is my older sibling. I suppose one should think about birthday resolutions and all that but, considering all the ups and too many downs over the past 12 months, I don’t think so. Maybe stop stressing so much and enjoy the now if my out of whack synapses will let me.

So, we’ve reached November and with it, chilly mornings and disappearing daylight. With not much to do in the garden and a workshop idling whilst I try to drum ideas for Christmas baubles, I decided to give the terrace a bit of a make-over. Admittedly, it’s probably not the season for adding what can only be described as summer lounging to the apartment’s exterior but it does give it a bit of a wow factor. Not that you can sit on any of it, the woofers have ruled out any chance of claiming a cushion and as everyone knows, my posterior doesn’t have a take a load off mode. That being said, I don’t think there is a more perfect place to let the mind wander in the peace of nature for a while. Actually, it’s not that peaceful – the garden is teeming with migrant visitors at the moment; the avian kind but the chatter is oddly welcoming as we head into Autumn’s last month. Winter may be around the corner and a new year beckoning but that’s yet to come and as the saying goes, age is just a number so me and 59 are going to be just fine. I’ll just try and keep myself away from my reflection and remember mornings after night befores…

“We don’t stop playing because we grow old. We grow old because we stop playing.” (George Bernard Shaw)

Stay young, don’t Google

Over one of my fairly regular phone chats with bestie Rene, she asked me how I was getting on with living toute seule so to speak. Well, I’m sort of getting used to it was my answer although I did find myself Googling ADHD symptoms late one evening. I was a little alarmed at the number of boxes I could tick; constant worrying, inability to keep still, doing Lord knows how many things at the same time, always daydreaming, impulsive which gets me into trouble most of the time, yaddi yaddi. Naturally, knowing me as she does and being a girl with her head on straight, she assured me I was just fine – it’s a widow thing was her explanation, she has the same problems.

And I’m not really on my own, I’ve got 7 woofers for company and my man living a minute down the road in a village full of friends. Having the place to ourselves has its advantages however, Sherman spends almost the entire day behind the front gate waiting to ambush a pooch passing by and Alice has taken to sleeping in the garage lest a rogue rat decides to attempt a re-entry. I accidentally left the kitchen door open in the main house yesterday whilst I was preparing a dinner party, only to find the two of them had sneaked into the forbidden territory – I wouldn’t have minded except I had to check every floor after chucking them out, Sherman and his ‘social media posting’ would not go down well with the rest of the family. Still, the big ol’ house needs company to feel alive so the pitter patter of paws on tiles was welcomed as was the evening’s friends.

Mind you, not all of my canine compatriots have been able to enjoy such freedom – our Simi is currently resting on my bed after an unexpected but somewhat urgent operation. She’d been driving me crazy constantly scratching so I took her off to the vet. He couldn’t find the source of the itch but a routine examination ended up with an echograph and the discovery of a 7 centimetre tumour in her spleen. Now having had far too much experience with such and German Shepherds, I was more than a little worried especially at her age, 16, which according to the ‘age’ chart in the waiting room doesn’t exist in her size but the blood test results showed nothing had spread and doc said she was strong enough to go under the knife. She’s fine and back to doing what she always does, sleep. My nerves are still under review.

Speaking of doing well at a certain age, Denis is turning 66 on Wednesday. If anyone is proof over age being just a number, it’s my man. He’s still shooting up ladders cutting villagers vines and speeding the mower across our vast perlouse. He maintains that keeping busy and not worrying about tomorrow keeps him young and fit. He doesn’t have a computer either. I’d take a leaf out of his book except I’ve spent the morning mopping up the flood that the washing machine he ‘fixed’ last night and I impulsively decided to turn on, emptied over the laundry room. Ah well, no time to sit still and daydream – this widow’s got a hundred and one things to do…

“I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.” (Jennifer Yane)

stay young at heart (and away from washing machines)

Colour me happy

Oddly, considering they were my two worst subjects at school, I was back in my happy place last week painting and sewing. Actually, maths and chemistry would be further down the list but then Mrs Longman the latter’s teacher always terrified me. Anyway, as I said, I’m back in Soph serenity land swiping my brush across the canvas and making velvet chair cushions. Mind you, a staple gun is so much quicker than a needle and thread ahem. And, despite the neck-ache that comes with running a roller across its ceiling, my bathroom is now finished – Callum said the colour reminded him of a dental surgery but I think minty green gives the space a bit of Zen.

Speaking of palette choices, Denis and I went over to the piscine shop mid-week to pick out the right hue for the liner. Naturally, any decision over which would look best in the pool’s depths has to be made by all four of us siblings but Moth’s ‘what about the beige’ option had me putting my flipper down. The word itself sounds dull although my son did point out that the water would still appear blue – it’s a chemistry thing (yawn). We’ve ended up agreeing on a sort of turquoise colour which, apart from anything else, matches the stairs.

One certainly couldn’t say my life has been devoid of colour especially when you add Arry into the mix and Friday marked our 9 year anniversary together. Yup, that what was supposed to be a foster pup back in 2015 is still hogging the bed covers. A little grey round the edges these days but always a bumbling ball of sunshine. And with Spring around the corner, we have been blessed with the rays from above which, after a couple of drizzly downpours, has brought out the blooms. From daffodils, cherry blossom, magnolia and marguerites to little rose buds and yes, another cauliflower, the garden is getting ready for the best of seasons. And when it comes to lifting the soul, there’s nothing better than a swish from Mother Nature’s paintbrush. Hey, its March next week!…

“The best colour in the whole world is the one that looks good on you.” (Coco Chanel)

Ducking curveballs

Over a conversation with friends the other night, the subject of planning or not planning the future came up. Saba and Roy were on the ‘always good to plan ahead’ side whereas Denis and I were on the ‘live for today’ one. Apart from deciding what needs to be done garden-wise, we rarely make plans although I do keep a diary for things like medical appointments, weddings and such-like. Other people’s weddings, don’t get excited – we like our life just how it is.

And even if you could predict the future, life has a habit of throwing curveballs when you least expect them and forget to duck. Take last week’s weather for example – one day scorching hot and in the 30’s, the next thunderstorms and near flood conditions with temperatures 10 degrees lower. I had to dig out a winter jumper last night. And then there was what was supposed to be the grand pool refill but D got the wrong Saturday (it’s this coming one) so we wasted a whole day waiting for the man to show up which put me in a very grumpy mood but actually, even that worked out for the best. There’s still a small leak somewhere and I need to vacuum up all the sand the rain has dumped on the pool bed which is easier when it’s half empty. Such hiccups also gave me time to finish the petanque tent accessories although we are missing one cushion as the sewing machine decided to pack up.

My attempts at fixing the above contraption left me in a worse temper than that which comes as standard with the bloody pool so much so that I really didn’t want to go out last night to the annual fête in neighbouring Preixan – something I’d been looking forward to for months. However, not wanting to let Denis or our friends down, I reluctantly put on a happy face and my dancing shoes before popping over to my man’s place for a pre-boogie dinner. Well, it was bucketing down and as we sat on his terrace watching the black clouds sit overhead, the phone rang. Did we want to go over to Le Jardin instead? Apparently the crowds in Preixan had made parking near impossible and there had been a bit of trouble, fisticuff style the night before. So we did and what a fabulous night it turned out to be. Sometimes, what you don’t think you want turns out to be just what you needed.

And what do you know? It’s turned out nice again today. Bikini and shorts are back on and the woofers spread out under the trees instead of my feet. Time to do my best Esther Williams impression and find the pesky hole in the liner. I could leave it until tomorrow and have the help of D but tomorrow is another day and another curve ball to watch out for. Where’s my baseball mitt?…

“Forever is composed of nows.” (Emily Dickinson)