Signs of Autumn

So, after five months of rainless skies and sweat, Autumn finally decided to make an appearance in dramatic style with a cracking great storm on Thursday. I’m sure the land was grateful for the deluge but probably not the howling gale that came with it – one that brought down several tonnes of acorns onto the pool deck that I’d just swept. I did wonder whether a retrieval of car canopies from next doors garden might be in order, velcro is no match for a violent tempest and neither is trying to bang down pegs under water. Still, a change in season is as good as a rest or at least it’s certainly blown away the cobwebs.

Yup, this girl’s been busy clearing the decks and not just the one with the sound of constant pinging. It all started with my TikTok detox. I may or may not have spent far too many evenings in the company of tarot card readers and other dubious ‘ologists worrying about where Saturn was rising to next or whether Mars and Uranus were going to have a bust up as to who was going to be in Scorpio tomorrow. So I deleted the little icon and went to work on all things outdoors instead. I braved the inside of the neglected serre, thankfully devoid of spiders and replaced the wilted summer stock with fresh seedlings and the two potagers are once more neat and tidy. Brother Simon and wife Alba came over during the week having hired a van to move stuff to their new home which meant switching furniture around so the main house didn’t look like The Louvre. They timed their visit well as I’d planned a wee apéro with friends on Friday night which ended up being a dinner – such an evening much needed after the foggy last few weeks.

Naturally, what with it being almost the end of October, I’ve been well-occupied in the workshop too. No, not because of Hallowe’en; my birthday isn’t really a thing in these parts thank the Gods as All Saint’s Day takes a priority. Whilst a few shops may adorn themselves with headless ghouls and trails of wispy cotton wool, chrysanthemums tend to be the main attraction although I must admit some of those displays can be frankly scarier. Anyway, I digress, it’s the Christmas crowds I’m planning for. I have a meeting tomorrow at the Chamber of Commerce (at the ungodly hour of 8.30 a.m) which fingers crossed will be the final step towards my licence. I have no doubt in my mind that I’ll probably forget an important document or five knowing how the French bureaucratic system works but with any luck my Nöel nuggets will festoon the local markets in the next months. In the meantime, I just have to bear the thought that I’ll be that little bit closer to not being in my fifties anymore in the far to near future – let’s just hope Venus doesn’t poke her nose in…

“Notice that autumn is more the season of the soul than of nature.” ( Friedrich Nietzsche)

That Français feeling

It’s that dreaded time of year. Not because we are at the end of August and therefore summer, worse almost – the tax man arriveth. Yes, down here we empty our bank accounts in October and are graced with a flurry of email reminders lest one forgets. I usually do. Still, if my plans for Witch Wackle are to be put in action, I’m going to have to be a little more organised in the paperwork department. That and I have to get another SIRET, basically a number that registers your business with the afore-mentioned tax man. I have one for the Montpelier property as it’s in retirement apartment complex. I was discussing this the other day with Adolphe, local Del Boy and my good friend who is banging on at me to sell my wares in Carcassonne and had bought over a rather lovely butler sink for my one day new workshop. I was a little worried as to whether or not I would be allowed to trade professionally being a Brit and all and with the Brexit boundaries but Adolphe just scoffed. “You speak French and you pay your dues, yes?”. Well, the latter definitely I replied, secretly pleased that he noted my grasp of the lingo, of which my pal decided, was enough to get my foot through the door and made me practically born here. I did further point out that I have yet to comprehend most of what I need to fill out on official forms but that was rebuffed as well. According to Adolphe, neither do French people and that’s why we have Google.

Mind you, I could be forgiven for thinking I’d missed the deadline judging by the weather last week. I know I said we needed rain desperately but that much? The garden’s started to turn green again and I had to delve into the depths of my drawers to find a sweater it was that cool. I say cool as 23 degrees is quite balmy to most but not when you’ve been in double that for the last three months. The sun has been out again this weekend thankfully but I feel the pool is unlikely to have bodies in it this year unless they are practicing for a swim across the English Channel. The bloody thing could have been usable if we had the chance to put the summer cover over but that decaying piece of plastic was what caused the problem with the pump – its deposits bunged up the filter. Since none of us want to shell out for a new bâche with this place up for sale and the season pretty much over anyway, the waters shall remain devoid of human life. Arry isn’t human and doesn’t compute cold water.

So tomorrow is the start of a new month and all too soon the heady days of summer will drift off into memory. Or maybe not quite yet. According to the local météo, that being the daily chat in the épicerie, another heatwave is bound to descend on us before Autumn rolls in. I’d dropped in to put up a new display for the season ahead and got the warning. I do hope so as I still have a lot of shell craft to peddle, not helped by a recent visit to Limoux’s recycling emporium ending up with me acquiring a sizeable chunk of cowries. I wouldn’t have bought them except that there was another lady eyeing them up and such a cheap steal wasn’t going to pass me by. That and she was English, which for some reason brought on the urge to grab them on the spot as well as several other bits and bobs under her visual. As we walked out of the shop, Denis started laughing. “Ma Chèrie, you are definitely turning French”…

““Summer should get a speeding ticket.” (Unknown)

Changing times and testy tractors

There’s a Facebook group page that I occasionally visit which is supposed to be all about gardening in France but really should be called ‘the English in France’. We talk about the weather mostly. That and share photos of our fabulous flora and fauna. I rarely participate in threads but would you believe, I had to post the miracle that passed over last week – we had rain! Having shoved Lily and her baby sister (my Peace Lilies for those who don’t know) out onto the terrace for a good soaking before I squeezed into what remaining bed space had been left due to Arry and Sherman’s horizontal yoga and snoozed off listening to Nature’s orchestra. Pure bliss.

The storm lasted two days and thankfully bought the temperature down although that, unfortunately, was just a temporary blip. However, one should make hay whilst the sun isn’t shining or move Pop’s tractor from the back garden to brother Moth’s house in Cenne- Monasties. We roped in the lovely Lionel for the cause as he has a great big trailer with a ramp on the back and is well used to shifting farm machinery. That and being corralled into doing favours for my little brother like the previous week’s shifting of all the giant floor planks he’d nicked from L’Horte and had been sitting in the garage ever since. But this little blue put-put around wasn’t going to go without a fight. First there was the slight issue of removing several generations of mice from the engine; I left that to Denis as well as the flat front tyre. Hardly stressful unlike trying to get it on the trailer – it didn’t fit. By millimetres. Luckily for poor lovely Lionel, nephew Max’s idea of cutting out the back of the trailer was over-ridden by D knowing a friend (of course) who worked at the winery down the road and had a thingamajig that could hoist the tractor onto the back of Lionel’s flat bed truck. Sorted. Almost. What the boys hadn’t thought about was how to get all down Baden’s (bro’s house) narrow driveway and unload it. They came back 3 hours later looking like roadkill but job done and Moth did donate some thoroughly delicious wines.

I’m sure over the months ahead, the lovely Lionel will be called upon again to shift the contents of the family residences to new abodes, mine included. Five years ago, I did just that except my belongings were mostly made up of woofers and one Peace Lily. And I did have our Rene to help me navigate my way through a different country to start a new life. Whilst some of those four pawed friends are no longer here and the Mothership sold, moving from the city to the middle of nowheresville has done just that. A new life. I’m a country girl now who isn’t scared of getting her hands dirty or holes in her jeans. I fell in love again with the man who helped me resurrect a garden and build a pool. A pool by the way which is the reason I am late writing this blog as it decided to spring a leak in the pump. Ever Reliable Roy came to the rescue. I helped Alice raise a litter of exceptionally exceptional Border Terrier puppies (Sherman just clocked in at a whopping 13 kilos but the vet says he’s not fat, just big), wrote two books (still waiting on the publishing date for the second, sorry!) and discovered that I could make jewellery and people buy it. Yes, there’s been a fair number of storms and downpours but I’ve learnt to roll with the seasons and take each day as it comes. But there will always be a little bit of England that stays with me – I do love talking about the weather…

“I don’t know what lies around the bend, but I’m going to believe that the best does.” (Anne of Green Gables)

Familiar faces, fiddly bits and fresh pools

Considering I spend most weeks covered in dust and remnants of varnish, the events of the past 7 days were a refreshing change – and in clean jeans too. I’ve been quite the girl around town; tea with the ladies on Tuesday, a lesson in jewellery making on Wednesday, lunch out with Saba on Thursday, picked up my bestie Rene from the airport on Friday and then put together a little soirée with friends last night before taking said bestie back to the airport an hour ago. Oh, then there was that extra little something that finally took shape – the bloody pool now has a nice brightly coloured liner.

Okay, so the sight of me holding a teapot instead of a wine bottle might appear a little odd but Mumo and her friends used to have a weekly get-together over fine china and nibbly biscuits so I’m taking her place. I have to admit the accompanying cookie collection was a little thin as Callum had got to the packets before me but it was a very nice afternoon nevertheless spent catching up on the ‘who’s doing what’ news. Very grown-up. And as they always say, you’re never too old to learn something so I took up the offer for a tutorial in the finer art of twisting metal and bead-threading with another one of Mumo’s gal pals. I would like to point out that such a craft is much more difficult than it looks even with your specs on. Still, Jan gave me a few tools and bits and pieces to practise on and I’ve dug out my magnifying glass. Over lunch with Saba the following day, I mentioned that further lessons would include soldering which would be great as I have yet to use mine – she suggested a health and safety course first.

Luckily, for me, and her, popping over the Channel for a weekend is relatively cheap this time of year so I had our Rene for a wonderful 48 hours. Knowing me as well as she does and because she couldn’t come to Mumo’s funeral, she had booked herself a little ‘Sophi’ time as soon as she could. I just wish the weather hadn’t decided to change its sunny mind at the end of the week but at least the rain stayed away until this morning. Good job really as I’d carefully planned the party out in the courtyard and no-one likes a soggy seat. It goes without saying that the night was thoroughly enjoyable – platters of lemon chicken (Mumo’s recipe), D’s barbecued sausages and my speciality that is a French Tomato tart getting the thumbs up as I rushed around with the more familiar accessory – wine bottles. No doubt, I shall host another when Rene comes back in June but in a different location, like by the pool. The one that is currently filling up with water and keeping its precious liquid within for once in its life. Roll on summer and friends and fiddly tea cups…

“A good friend is a connection to life — a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world.” ( Lois Wyse)

Sorcery and spiders

According to Denis, I had a narrow escape the other day. I’d left him up on the terrace re-potting my ancient Peace Lily and tidying up the outdoor space whilst I popped next door to strip out Slim’s (Alice’s other son) coat when, upon my return, he announced that I’d had some visitors. “I found two black widow spiders under those rocks over there” he delightedly informed me, “like the one that bit you”. Well, for one thing the savage beast that munched my hand was a recluse spider and two, I’m not convinced such deadly creatures are residing under Arry’s cailloux collection. False widows perhaps but not the real ones. But Denis was insistent so I let him be the hero for a few minutes. I almost called him this morning when I opened the downstairs door and found another arachnid wiggling its legs at me on the jamb but I let it be. It was brown. Yup, the clocks have gone forward and Spring is nigh.

Frankly, I’m surprised the spiders managed to stay in one place considering the atrocious weather the last week of March brought us – wet and windy. Very. Mind you, the sun has finally come out today even if it is still gusty and the météo is forecasting a brighter week ahead. Let’s hope so because Denis is picking up the pool liner tomorrow but the poseur can’t fit it until the thermometer hits 20 degrees. With all the rain of late, the bloody thing has started to refill itself with the wrong sort of water. Still, having had a decent soaking with the right sort, the garden is looking very Spring-like and the birds are tweeting away merrily from their various nesting points. Bert and Skirt, the resident magpies have once again built their abode in the huge cedar tree adjacent to the terrace which is a little worrying as the one they added up there last year got blown down and they lost their brood.

Speaking of building things, I’ve finally taken the leap and made Witch Wackle public. That is to say, my new ‘micro enterprise’ now has a name and a couple of social media accounts. It took me a while to think of a name; anything with Sophi had already been taken – obviously a popular name amongst furniture restorers, so I decided to use my childhood nickname as a tribute to Mumo. Callum approves. To be honest, I’m not well-versed in the art of content or video editing which I’m told should be uploaded daily – who has that kind of time to fiddle about? I spent half of this morning trying to ‘dress’ a rather gorgeous Victorian style plant stand I’d bought back to life; she looked great in the sunshine but the only flowers in pots I could find were orchids which didn’t really suit the frame. Still, the work itself is educational and addictive even if I no longer have fingernails or a pair of unstained jeans or the vaguest understanding of Facebook posting. Considering the number of careers I have had; restaurant manager, model, receptionist, fitness guru, dog trainer, groomer and behaviour consultant, for the first time in my life I’m enjoying the freedom of working alone and no longer having to look at the clock. Unless there’s a spider waving back…

““A mind that is stretched by new experiences can never go back to its old dimensions.” (Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr)