Missing connections

Today should have been Tony’s 60th birthday. A decade ago, I gave him a surprise party at his cousin’s restaurant followed by a trip to Oman. Little did I know then that the next time I was to see most of those who attended would be at his funeral seven years later. I’m not one who celebrates ‘heavenly birthdays’, to me he will always be 56.

I don’t know if it the significance of the date or just my general mood but I hit a real funk mid-week. A lack of sleep might have been a contributory factor, the pups find the early hours of the morning ideal for raucous play which usually involves using me as an obstacle course. They are utterly adorable but I do wish they would find a more appropriate time to test out their inner terriers. Now 4 weeks old, even Alice is finding les enfants exhausting, I shall start weaning them soon then we can all have a break. I know I said that I was going to start that last week but my research showed that the longer they are fed by Mum, the less likely they are to suffer from behavioural issues. Mind you, having had little teeth attached to my fingers, I can sympathise with Alice. Another one of the girls, Sophia, has been reserved and will be starting her new life in Switzerland in a month or so. With only Sherman and Sanza left to find homes, it won’t be long until they have all flown the coup so to speak.

Despite my love of this little piece of France, there are times when I feel lonely. The woofers are wonderful company but the conversation does tend to be slightly one-sided. I have actually missed having the workforce here this week, everyone has been busy elsewhere, it’s just too quiet. Thankfully Lionel and his gang will be back tomorrow to crack on with the pool along with Denis whose absence has been felt by all, especially the dogs. I am a bit nervous as to how he will take my decision to plant the tomatoes in what will be the potager but I was feeling sorry for the poor things stuck in pots.

So I’m going to make an effort to get out and about a bit more, maybe find a local ladies group or such-like. I also have to invite some of those I have got to know over for a glass or two. I’ve never been much of loner, I like having people around me. As much as I love chatting to all my friends over Whatsapp and Zoom, it’s not the same. Hopefully in a few weeks, Callum and his cousin will descend on us followed by other members of the Collins clan in August. There is nothing that can chase the loneliness blues away better than a table full of family…..

“Loneliness is proof that your innate search for connection is intact” (Martha Beck)